4 Reasons Why You Should Write Your Birth Stories

(And pregnancy thoughts, too!)

Bonus giant toddler head and spilled milk

I grew up listening to birth stories. My mom would recount the labor and delivery of each child, and my dad would follow with the cost and payment of each birth. This typically happened on birthdays--and there were many in our household--but these discussions could pop up at any time.  I remember listening intently to clusters of women chatting about the labors and surgeries that had brought them their children. These stories, often retold, never grew old. They were the tales of life breaking into the world, of pain, suffering, but ultimately joy. 

As a 20 year old, I discovered an entire realm of birth stories just under my fingertips, care of the world wide web. I read them voraciously, over and over again. In my world of great literary works, peer reviewed articles, and countless essays, these women's labor stories stood out as inspiring and beautiful. 

I wrote out Landon's birth story when he was two days old. The facts, while fresh in my mind, were already slipping back into the corners of memory land. (Sleep deprivation will do that to you.) But I transcribed it as best I could, and spelled "Cytotek" completely wrong. Several edits--and two and a half years later--it's still not perfect, but it exists.  His birth story is a narrative of his transition from in utero to out. From on this earth and in his mother, to wholly on this earth.  Obviously, I'm a fan of birth stories, and here's why I encourage others to write out theirs, too.

1). For posterity. Coming into this world is something every single person does, yet it is an entirely uniquely event. (Even for multiples, albeit less so in some ways.) Recording how your child transitioned from  your womb to your arms makes you the historian of a momentous event. 

2). For accuracy. This post was spawned because I've heard so many women say that the details of their children's birth are fuzzy, and that saddens me. I don't remember Landon's birth because I have an elephant's memory--not in the least. I remember it because I word vomited it into a word processor before I could forget it. Writing it out can also force you to ask questions, and check your facts, bringing to light elements of the story that you never knew.

3). For healing. Perhaps your child's birth wasn't the event you had prayed for during those long nine months of pregnancy. Perhaps it was traumatic. Maybe there are elements that you'd like to change if you have another pregnancy.  For mothers like me, reading the tale of my child's birth with newly found love in my heart heals the wound of not feeling instantaneous love at his birth. 

4). For clarity. You'll have a clear, concise version to tell around the dinner table, on your child's birthday, or when discussing childbirth with your friends. Writing our words out forces us to choose wisely and think clearly--much more than just talking. 

And what if you can't write well? It doesn't matter. Just write it for yourself. You're probably a much better writer than you think.