Skip to main content

The Quotable Landon, Volume I

The Quotable Landon. 

One of the best parts of having a small child is listening to them discover language. At his three year check up, his pediatrician flattered my mommy ego by complimenting his vocabulary and outgoing nature.  He talks as quickly as his mother, but loves color and design like his father. Seriously, this child cuts better paper than I can.   He's not a performer, so in lieu of letting Lando corral everyone into his chatterbox corner, here are a few of his maxims.





*While chatting with his reflection in the mirror.*
"My name is Wando. You are Wandon. Wando.  Wandon."
"Who am I?"
"You're Susie. Mommy. Babe."


"Mommy, you are soooo pretty. You're pretty, just like Carol."
"I'll take it, son."
*Hugs me tightly, whilst beaming angelically.*



"Mommy went potty all by herself! Good job, Mommy!"
"No, you watched me the whole time."
 "You should shut the door, Mommy."





"I want to go to Target store now!
"Maybe."
"Let's go to Target store."
"You're buying."
 "We're going to Target store!



"Don't cut my bitch."
"What did you say, Lando?"
"Don't cut my bitch, Daddy."
"One more time, baby."
"Don't cut my bitch, Mommy."
Translation: don't CROSS my BRIDGE.



"What does 'L' say, Lando?"
"L says 'www' as in Wando!"
"Lllllllllllando."
"Wwwwwwando."
*Nods with impish pride.*







"Mommy, I'm going to go potty in the grass because Grandma said I could."
"We're not at Grandma's house, kid."
*Tries to run into the soccer field.*


"I love my baby sister. She takes care of me and plays with me."
"BabySITTER, Landon,"
"Yeah, my baby sister, A."
We still haven't cleared that one up yet. 



"I want to go to the pet store to see the  Turdis,"
"Tortoise, Landon,
"Yeah, the TURDis at the store!"




Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Surviving, Losing, Living: Post Lockdown 3 Thoughts

    April 12th, 2021. That was the day England's shops and outdoor dining opened up. The day that I could once again take my child to swim lessons. The day we could once again stay somewhere overnight - not a hotel or someone's house, but anywhere self-catering.  Confusing, American readers? Welcome to my life.   People like to tell me they can tell this has been hard on me as if this is radically new information and they're providing deep insight into my life. Truthfully, a Euro-style lockdown is hard on any healthy person. The struggle to survive a brutal lockdown is more indicative of a person living a full life than anything else. Sprinkle that with negative commentary from US dwellers who think a lockdown is an optional event, and it makes for a nearly unbearable, dark winter.  But we survived. All of us. Infection numbers are down, down, down. Vaccination numbers are up, up, up, and the adults in our household are the unusual fully vaccinated non-medical...

Losing Your Religion

  I  used to see religion as a warm, safe place.   It was somewhere that created a routine, a social network, and a place of belonging.   Oh, and we were right. About everything. And that’s a great feeling, being right.  Never having to doubt.  Knowing my neighbor was wrong, but I was right.  It was strange how every other religion was Oh So Wrong.  So clear how they hurt other people. So obvious that the adherents were worshiping themselves, rather than a god.  And then I..changed.  They’d say that I fell away. The people in the pews. Because I was no longer convinced that I was better than others.  That I could be cruel, selfish, vain, and legalistic, and it was okay if I sat in a pew on Sunday. In fact, I could doubt and wonder and process as much as I needed, if I kept mindlessly repeating the same tropes as everyone in the pew. Recite the same Bible verses. Sit in the same seat. Drink the same bad coffee. Go to the sa...

2021: Pivot, Expectation Management, and just an OCONUS PCS

 It started out demurely, this year.  I had low expectations, or so I thought.  We survive the winter and the sunshine will blaze once more.  I bought a planner, still sprouting vestiges of hope that is more on-brand for 2019 than The Year That Shall Not Be Named. And then, on the fourth day of January, 12 hours before my children were supposed to go back to school and preschool, the Great Pivot hit. Lockdown 3.0 for England. Now I stare at the calendar darkly, laughing at the Susie who hoped and prayed that she would at least have six remaining months in 2021 free to explore.  OCONUS  tours are supposed to be difficult. They are supposed to be stressful, chaotic, exciting, new, rife with homesickness and cultural shock, and filled to the brim with adventure and exploration. I was ready for that - in 2019, 2020, and 2021, after being taken aback in 2017 and falling in love with the experience in 2018.  This was not the experience we expected. This qui...